December 11th Showdown Looms

Its around the corner. The biggest showdown in touchtennis history. Englands finest travel to Glasgow to take on the Scots. 

In whats being billed as a sporting event, some pundits have likened it to a bloodbath. An unnecessary weapons display by England. A bull fight where the matadorian Englishmen are weilding AK47s. 

The Scots have lined up Oliver Darbyshire and Lloyd Greatorex Watson in what can only amount to bringing a knife to a gun-fight. 

"I don't want to beat them. I want to humiliate them. The Angelini Cup belongs in England. We won it. We've defended it. We've earned it." Harsh words from the normally reserved England Captain, Ahmad. 

Kris Soutar, in his maiden outing as Scotland captain has been unreachable for comment. Some say fear, others say its wise just for him to stay silent in what writers are calling the longest odds since David took on Goliath. He's well aware of his teams shortcomings. How he masks them will be his greatest achievement. 

Marcus Willis meanwhile, has offered to play one set blindfold, in a bid to level things out a bit. 

Dark times for Scotland loom. England's future however, has never been brighter.